ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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