i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
