i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
