I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Of course I have a pirate flag
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
