Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
