I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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