i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
