bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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