Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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