youre lurking in front of me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
