you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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