all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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