I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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