i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
