Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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