my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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