all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
