walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
A bitchslap is in order.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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