Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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