There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize