sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
