Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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