2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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