i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
