I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
