You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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