Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I could have mohawked her pubes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What a dumb baby whore.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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