Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
my poor anus
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
