wrigley field is MILF paradise
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
