omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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