Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's never too late to be topless.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
