thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
