he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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