i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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