You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
