So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
