I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
