remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He has the fingertips of a God
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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