i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
