my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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