I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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