whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
