no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
