we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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