So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
