i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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