Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
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