Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
zippers are such a cool invention
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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