I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
