all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
