SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
