after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
