i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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