Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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