I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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