listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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