I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
