so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
