i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
