Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
