I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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