I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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