Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
